16.9.09

BEWARE!

Here's the first from the BEWARE series!!! And the text for them that will eventually be in a Wildlife FACT FILE pamphlet inspired layout. I'm going to have a diagram done in illustrator of Anyhony Hopkin's strategy for defeating a man-eating-bear-thats-tracking-you-down-in-the-wilderness, but that will be for next week.


Lumberjacks
Always avoid lumberjacks whenever possible. They are often doing their job cutting down trees and it is very dangerous to stand near them. Beware of falling trees. There is another lumberjack threat occurs in the wilderness, and his name is Paul Bunyan. He's very friendly, but doesn't always look where he's going, so make sure you find an open area to camp out in away from bushes and trees so that he can see you. But still, you may not be safe.





Sasquatch
If you see a Sasquatch, leave the area at once. She (that's right most Sasquatch are female) might want to eat you, or worse yet, She might want you to help her comb out her hair so she can look nice for her date with a Bigfoot. And that whole patch of back fur takes FOREVER to comb out, you can expect to be there all evening.



Mooscooped

You must always beware of mooses, because they like to collect humans. Their antlers are perfectly shaped for scooping up people and depositing them elsewhere. If a moose tries to scoop you, curl up in a ball in a natural nook. This will prevent the animal from being able to scoop.


Bear Hugs
Although Bears are thought of as very dangerous, most bears are gentle, but you should still stay away. Bears have been known to cut off circulation of people they're hugging. Be sure to stay as far away from bears as possible so you aren't squeezed to death.

3 comments:

monocle said...

Sweet! Now I'll never be at peace in the wilderness again : )
Is the second one down supposed to be advising wariness against tangle-y hair or against the possibility of getting kidnapped by a lady-sasquatch and being made to brush her tangle-y hair?
In any case, good job, kiddo!!

Sarah Sloth said...

DEAD ON MONICA!!!!! The second one. "If you see a Sasquatch, leave the area at once. She might want to eat you, or worse yet, She might want you to help her comb out her hair so she can look nice for her date with a Bigfoot. And that whole patch of back fur takes FOREVER to comb out, you can expect to be there all evening."

Sarah Sloth said...

ps. thanks for giving me the idea to add the text in that blog!

haha but the average onlooker might assume otherwise from this string of comments, but miss monica saw the blog before the text was there.